Is There Something Wrong With My Child?

The Missing Web of Support

We used to raise children in villages, neighbourhoods, and extended family systems. Mothers or fathers alike were not meant to carry the weight of worry alone. There were grandparents, neighbours, aunties, uncles, local shopkeepers, and playgroups. Other children around for comparison, comfort, and shared chaos.

Today, many parents are parenting in isolation. Some are far from family. Others are living in communities where the “village” is fragmented by long working hours, screen time, closed doors, and the fast pace of modern life. We rely on online forums and occasional GP visits to answer the questions our grandmothers or elders would have spotted in a heartbeat.

When community is absent or fractured, it’s no surprise that parental worry grows. In the absence of shared stories and supportive mirrors, every quirk becomes a potential concern. Without someone to say, “My child did that too and it passed,” or “Let’s figure it out together,” we can spiral into fear and self-doubt.

What If the Problem Isn’t the Child?

Here’s a radical idea: what if the problem isn’t your child, or even your parenting – but the way we’ve been left to do this alone? Surrounded, but not supported.

Of course, sometimes children do need support, and as a parent, you’re right to advocate and explore. But the first step in answering the question, “Is there something wrong with my child?” is often to ask a different one:
“Do I have the support I need?”

Are you part of a community that sees your child’s strengths as well as their struggles? Are you surrounded by people who remind you that children develop at different paces and in different ways? Do you have safe spaces to talk honestly, not just about milestones and behaviour charts, but about fear, exhaustion, and hope?